Riley Roo I love you!

Warning....this is a sad post. It was the only way I could deal with my sadness this evening. We unexpectedly had to put my baby girl Riley down tonight. When I got home from work she was skiddish, lethargic and having a hard time breathing. I took her to the Vet ER immediately, spent 2.5 hours there while they ran every test only to be told she needed a specialist at the U. She had fluid around her heart and they couldn't tell if it was a tumor or not. When we left the ER to take her to the U, she walked outside away from the car and just laid in the grass. She looked up at me with such sad eyes that seemed to say she was done with this and wanted to just lay down and go to sleep. It literally broke my heart. We were able to coax her into the car and then we sped across town to the University. She could barely get out of the car. Once we got in the doors, she just laid down and wouldn't move. They had to lift her up into a wagon to bring her to the back to be examined. They called in a cardiologist, who then confirmed my worst fears...it was a tumor that ruptured and there wasn't much more they could do for her. She was in pain and I couldn't take those beautiful eyes looking up at me with such sadness.  Ramesh and I said our good byes while she laid calmly on the gurney. I could tell she didn't want to fight anymore and knew it was her time to go-even if I wasn't ready. This was by the far the most painful thing I have ever had to do. I've only had her a few years, but she was my baby girl and I loved her with all my heart. I haven't stopped crying yet. I am lucky to have had this time with her and I know she had a great, full life. I am also fortunate enough to have another wonderful dog at home that I love just as much, but it still doesn't fill the void that is left by my sweet sweet Riley Roo. RIP Riley. We miss you so so much and will never, ever forget you!